With extreme metal (this includes death metal, grindcore, and black
metal), I draw the line in two very distinct places. First of all,
if you are looking at the logo, know the name of the band, but still
can't make out the name of the band in the logo (more on this in the
Funerus review coming soon). The other thing I find just ridiculous
is when you have a lyrics sheet in front of you and you still can't
make out what the vocalist is saying. This just goes too far, and
Balatonizer is the perfect example of this band. I swear they cannot
have lyrics of any kind, unless the lyrics are "Grrgugueugggurrrrgr
guh gurrrurgrughrgrr" or something similar.
I think the most surprising thing about this disc is not the
fact that it is 25 minutes and 32 tracks long. This does not
phase me in the lease bit. It's the fact that I was able to
LISTEN to all 25 minutes and 32 tracks. Once you hit track 14
or 15, it's no longer interesting. It's all become this gigantic
clusterfuck of noise and growling and buzzsaw guitars playing
pretty much the same riff over and over and over. The drums sound
like a drum machine, but I don't know if this is actually the case.
It just sounds mechanical and tinny because they enjoy the way it
sounds I suppose [Note: turns out it is a drum machine. Apparently
they couldn't afford decent sounding samples].
I strongly believe in the fact that if I ever met anyone who paid money
for this album, I'd be shocked. Furthermore, if I ever meet a person who
says they "especially like such and such song" but they "don't like this
song", I will punch them in the face. This is 25 minutes of ridiculous
grind complete with movie samples or something like that. Boring, painful
stuff. In fact, I believe that if one listens to this album too much, the idea
of getting a Prince Albert won't seem so bad. This album needs to not exist
any longer. It makes people dumber and impairs judgment.
Zach the Elf Palmer
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